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Giving Care: A Caregiving Journey
Giving Care:
A Caregiving Journey
Receiving Care
Growing up with five siblings, we had many arguments and fights between us throughout the years. My mom repeated her famous ‘words of wisdom’ many times: “You better figure out how to get along with each other because, through thick and thin, it is only your siblings that will stand by you and be there when you really need them.” As we went from school to moving out and our time together decreased, we found ourselves coming back to those words. The six of us, despite it all, stayed close over the years. We got married, had kids, and still leaned on each other. My husband, with nine siblings, grew up with this same value on his family farm.
For my parents, anytime something needed repairing or building, both their siblings were always there to give care with a helping hand. They would give care when their siblings asked in return. My husband’s family was the same way – which means we have a whopping thirty-three blood-related aunts and uncles between the two of us! The payback for caring at the end of the task was simply a good meal, a lot of laughter, teasing, and fun.
Giving Care
It is not a surprise my husband and I continue giving care to family as we learned in our childhood. Shortly after we married, a car accident injured my husband’s brother. My husband then moved in with him, about 100 miles from our home. He stayed for 12 weeks to give him care and run his business until he was back on his feet. During that time, I visited my husband and helped with my brother-in-law’s care.
About two years ago, my husband and I, along with our siblings, were thrust into giving care. Multiple family members needed care all within a couple months. My sister-in-law and my sister were both diagnosed with cancer, and my mom with a heart issue. My husband gave care to his sister by helping her and her husband with transportation to medical appointments and grocery shopping.
I moved in with my sister to care for her after work and through the night, as well as helping my mom each evening with her supper. Once again, I visited my husband on the weekends in order to give care to family.
Showing Care
Giving Care to others is a full-time job. It’s hard, even though we don’t want to admit it and even when we have others to help us physically. Caregiving can be, and is, mentally exhausting. Why do we believe we have to do this on our own when we do not have to? My husband and I are both lucky to lean on our siblings. We didn’t give care alone – and that also meant we could receive care to help lighten the burden.
I’ve worked at DARTS for 11 years now. All at once in this past year, I’ve not just been working at DARTS, but receiving care and support from them, as well. They provided Caregiving Support, helping me to take care of myself while I was caring for others. Knowing about DARTS’ social workers and caregiver support team was huge as life continues to throw those curve balls.
Today, my mom and both sisters are gone, but I still have my husband and my family by my side – through thick and thin, just like my mom always said.
Author
Stephanie Langer (Author)
Stephanie began her career with DARTS in late 2013 as the Transportation Assistant. In 2015, her primary role became Office Manager; otherwise known as Staff Information and Assistant. Stephanie works with DARTS vendors to provide quality services for DARTS, works closely with each Director, managed the data entry process, and assists with the Breakfast Fundraiser and Party It Forward. She also keeps DARTS drivers up to date on Federal and State Department of Transportation compliance requirements.Stephanie is married with two sons and one daughter-in-law. Her husband is now retired after 49 years with Meyer Industries. One of her sons is an Aquatic Biologist, and the other son and his wife are math educators. Stephanie grew up on the lower West Side of St. Paul, but now lives south-east of here.